Mmmmmm. What was that? Did you just fart? No. I think this feels more like you just took a shit in your brand new Lululemon pants…HOLD ON. Stop. I know what you’re thinking as you stand in line at Starbucks right now ready to order your daily Chai Tea Mochiatta Latte.
Gently let go of all your public frustrations. Slowly. I said SLOWLY roll down your pink Lululemon pants from behind, as you stand in line. Fuck a Chai Tea Latte. Today we are going to make our own Cappuccino Alfredo.
Ignore the ginger bitch grinning at you from the corner table as you slowly pull down your Sharted pants (pants you have taken a big fucking shit in). Everybody is looking at you now. They can see the beautiful outline of that big giant hardcore, massive policeman rigid looking block of shit that you just took in your white Calvin Klein boxers. EVERYBODY knows what you just did.
Three people start screaming now. Froggy boy Alfredo jumps out of your recyclable orange juice bag and starts breakdancing in pubic. Not “public”. He’s break dancing on your pubes. Put your hands in the air and scream “I need everybody to follow their passions and hold my balls. Please hold my balls as I take off my white boxers!”.
Two beautiful Victoria’s Secret models slowly reach in from behind and gently grab one testicle each. As you roll down your boxers, you can’t help but get a slight semi-limp boner. Your boxers are off now and your block of shit just flops to the ground like a Tic-Tac mint. That shit is so hard that it bounced off the hardwood floor and into an 80 year old grandma’s Camomile Tea. Excellent!!!
You love tea but please heat that shit up. “WHERE IS THE FUCKING MICROWAVE PEOPLE!!!??” You yell as the ambulance people rush into the store to perform CPR on two thirteen year old girls who just fainted after seeing a cock for the first time. The Starbucks cashier bitch grabs your Camomile Tea and shoves it into an Ultrasonic Starbucks Organic Microwave. Amazing.
“Your Chai Poopoo Chamomile Tea Latte is ready sir”. There you have it. Served hot just like Mother Teresa likes it!
Homework: PLEASE go home and create your own Poopoo Latte and post Poopoo pics please (homework#2: say this 10 times quickly without stuttering) in the comments section below.
RUTABAGA VEGETABLES are for fags.
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